tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39547207493344837832011-04-21T16:59:39.301-07:00I'm a professional guy. I've been one for more than 30 years. In that time, I have taught others to be happier, healthier, and more well rounded. My lessons are "guycentric", but anyone, guy and non-guy alike, can learn from me. Education is important! And I intend to educate!Shanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15742427763775746448noreply@blogger.comBlogger21100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3954720749334483783.post-16795744049519042862007-12-31T16:00:00.000-08:002007-12-31T17:12:09.847-08:00Tomorrow is a new day and my dreams of tomorrow vary from day to day; sometimes moment to moment. My eyes see visions of laughter and smiles, but my heart feels a solemn, distinct anxiety. I fear I will never love again; never to be the smile of a good woman or to know the warmth of her touch. I guess you could say that I have a wound that is having trouble healing.<br /><br />My previous relationship failed because the woman I loved required me to be someone I was not. She never truly accepted me for myself; she always wanted someone different. In the end, she found someone different; he isn't me. It would have been great if our relationship was not so legally binding -- maybe I'd feel better about it ending.<br /><br />The thing about this scarring is that it has affected so many other parts of my life; and not all of them negatively. I am renewed as a person. I know more today of who I am than I did a year ago. My wants and my dreams are more centered and stronger than ever. I know where I'm going and, more importantly, where I've been. In essence, I have lost the ability to care whether others like me or not. I will no longer change myself to suit another. Love me for me or find someone else to love; expect me to do the same and harbor no ill will when it happens. I have learned a very important lesson; there will always be people who like you for you and people who hate you for you. The key is to find those that like you for you.<br /><br />Today is the end of another year; tomorrow begins anew. I am hopeful that I have the heart to pursue the dreams I dream. I am hopeful the vision my eyes see is not merely the effect of left over Christmas turkey. I want to live, I want to love, and I want someone to be myself with. These are not a reality today, but, as I said, tomorrow is a new day.<br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/misterteacher/2074044453/" title="As Night Falls by Mr. Teacher, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2166/2074044453_ab3c8b2051.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="As Night Falls" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3954720749334483783-1679574404951904286?l=guycentric.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15742427763775746448noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3954720749334483783.post-5011884813718157512007-12-14T11:45:00.000-08:002007-12-14T12:24:41.103-08:00I'm tired. That's all; just tired. I sit here thinking of the past year of my life and think about how long it has been since I have been comfortable. Comfort is not something that has come to me very often.<br /><br />My life has not been my own for so long. For years I devoted my life to the work of God through Calvary Baptist Church; looking back I see this as a mistake. I then eagerly gave my life to a woman who I thought I would spend the rest of my days with; again, years wasted. During this course of events I gave my life to college so as to ensure a future for me and my wife; now I stay with it because of my own future security. My father's health is failing. My school carreer is rocky at best. I live under the roof of my mother and over-bearing step-father. My comfort is non-existent.<br /><br />I enjoy sleeping; in those moments my mind takes me where I want to be. I dream of beaches, of friends, and of times of laughter and joy. I want to ride my bike through the mountains and feel the sunshine on my face. I strive for the moment when I have no worries, no cares, and no devotion.<br /><br />There is, however, a light peeking through the worry-stained clouds. I have an interview as a Teacher's Assistant in the area to which I wish to move. I want to say I am hopeful, but I'm too tired for hope. At this point I am numb. I would like to get this position so that I can have some measure of comfort.<br /><br />My wish?<br /><br />Simply to be free; to enjoy the company of others and rely only on myself. It is my wish; it is my dream. Good thing I believe in both.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3954720749334483783-501188481371815751?l=guycentric.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15742427763775746448noreply@blogger.com0